a PhD candidate

So in grad school, one of the major requirements after getting the masters degree is to take the phd oral qualifier (or proposal) exam. Well, 6 months ago I attempted to take it and did not pass… What a rough couple of weeks that was trying to figure out what to do. Was this God’s way of saying I’m done with grad school? Did I go as far as I could and maybe it was time for me to move on? Well, after lots of prayer and great council from many family, friends and colleagues, I decided to give it one more try.

Fast forward two months and we discovered this! WOAH! Ok, maybe God’s whole plan was coming into view for us! Maybe I really am done with trying for the Ph.D and should just focus on my M.o.M. degree instead?!

Well, after all that I decided to go ahead and take the exam again and see what God’s up to with all this. If I didn’t pass, we could be sure that it was the end of the phd road and all would be fine.

[This is the poster that my advisor just presented at a conference Italy on the same day as my exam]

This past Wednesday was the big day. After 6 months of agonizing over it and 3 solid weeks of studying and preparation, I re-took the exam. I was calm cool and collected going in. I felt very prepared and ready to nail it. The first 15 minutes I presented my proposal. It went great. It was the best presentation I think I had done, I remembered everything I wanted to say and was able to say it at the right moment while staying within the allotted time. (And I KNOW all of that was because so many of you were praying for me! Thank you!)

Then came the questions. And right off the bat, the first one hit me so hard, I was almost knocked off my feet. It was something I hadn’t really considered and it just totally through me off for the rest of the exam. I gave some reasonable answers, but stumbled over several questions. What a humbling experience... AGAIN!

Well, yesterday I found out that I actually passed it! Maybe they were sick of hearing me come and talk every 6 months, maybe they noticed my pregnant belly and had pity, maybe I legitimately improved my thinking and defending skills, who knows! But we are sure that this is God’s way of letting me know that I’m where He wants me to be for now, and that I will keep pursuing this degree so that someday I can use it for His glory.

The next and final step is to defend the thesis (which will be well after the baby comes). I’m sure that will be another long and trying time while I prepare for that, but after seeing what God can do firsthand when I put my complete trust in Him and know that his plan is the ultimate best for me, I’m planning on fully relying on His strength to get me through that just the same. And just as I’ve said in the past, He has provided all these opportunities and abilities and grace, and He deserves all the Glory right back! So here you go, God! Welcome to my PhD candidacy! Please lead the way…

on the front cover

After 8 months of reviewing, correcting, editing, and proofing my paper has been published!


If you'd like to read the whole thing, let me know and I can email you a copy (let me warn you though, it's kind of long and boring!!)

And it's pretty cool- they actually picked my paper to feature on the cover of the journal!


I still don't have an actual copy, so if you happen to get this random journal in the mail, can you save me this issue?! ;)

I've been reading a few books lately that I've really enjoyed. One's called Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes and another is Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. The concepts of pride and humility seem to be popping up a lot lately in my reading. I can't help but think maybe the Lord's trying to teach me something... especially with the UPs and downs I've had lately with my school work.

"The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts."
Samuel 2:7

Jerry Bridges talks about how both successes and failures in any of our endeavors is under the sovereign control of God. Last month I failed my qualifying exam. Last month I also had my paper published and honored on the front cover. I fully trust that both these events are in God's hands and under His control. I also understand that all the glory goes back to Him! A recent sermon focused on a passage in Luke:

"So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'"Luke 17:10

It is by His grace that I've come this far in my graduate work, and I want to make sure that no matter what the circumstances, I continue serve and praise Him with humility and thankfulness.

Soli Deo Gloria!
(Glory to God alone)

M.S.

Look what I got in the mail the other day!



It's official.



But the Lord has been reminding me a lot lately that true wisdom is not from books, education, or degrees, but from knowing God and obeying his commands.



As I work towards the next three letters, I will strive to soak in the Lord's Word:

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
(Proverbs 1:7 )

Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor.
(Proverbs 18:12 )

published!

Back in my LeTourneau days, my adviser and I did some research on elbow and wrist computer models. Five years later with the help of another student, we finally got an article published in the Journal of Biomechanics!

You can find the official abstract here.
If you want to read the whole article, let me know and I can e-mail a copy to you.

And I just got another paper accepted for publication on my Master's research! I'll let you know when that one come out in press.

done with some projects

Remember these?? I finally finished the cushions!!

I think each one got progressively better in quality as a figured out the best way to sew them.

They mostly stay on the red patterned side, but it's nice to know we have options.

I also finished scrapbooking our cruise from last year.

We went to Grand Cayman, Belize, Rotatan, and Costa Maya with our very fun cousins!! It was so fun reliving the memories.

On a whim, I decided I wanted to make a new bedskirt for our bed that went all the way to the floor (i.e. to hide all of the things we store underneath it!!).

It's hard to tell from the picture, but the material is a soft plush brown, slightly reflective finish. I

think it goes pretty well with our new rug.

And lastly, on Thursday we had BME (Biomedical Engineering) Research Day at school where all the graduate students presented a poster on their research. Here was mine:

I'll spare you my little spiel. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. ;)

Next on the agenda:

* Figure out what to do on the kitchen wall above the benches (maybe wainscoating?)

* Work on an album for Adam's Grandma (Scrapbooking weekend @ Lake Geneva in November, here I come!)

* Make curtains for the Living Room

* Finish the PhD... (hahaha!)

I'll keep you posted!

like every other grad student...

FYI, it's best not to ask... :)

learning to write

For the last few months my primary task has been to finish my master's thesis. The research has already been approved and I've defended everything before my committee, I just haven't finished writing it all out. My adviser has been very "hand's on" in this aspect of my research, to the point where each sentence has to be *perfect* (by some mysterious standard in his mind).

To give you an idea of how painstaking this process is, for the last 7 or 8 days I have been exclusively working on ONE PARAGRAPH. Today, he called me into his office to go over it. I was very nervous, my stomach was churning as he was reading it- I just knew he was going to send me back for another week of revising. But to my amazement, he liked it! He actually gave me a complement on it, probably the second or third he's ever given me on my writing. And he mumbled something about how great it is to see his students growing and learning to write! It made me feel pretty good. :)

I'm sure you're just dying to read this paragraph. So here you are. Enjoy! It belongs in the Discussion section of my thesis.

One could argue that observed induced accelerations may be confounded by contributions of neighboring muscles activated by electrical spillover. In this study, the targeted muscle was electrically stimulated using fine-wire intramuscular electrodes while surface electrodes were used on the neighboring muscles to monitor unanticipated activity. A common cross-correlation approach was used to evaluate the degree of synchronization between signals, a characteristic of crosstalk. Correlation values less than 0.6 indicated marginal synchronization between stimulated and non-stimulated muscle activity. In a study evaluating the presence of electrical spillover between surface electrodes, Farina et al.(2004) demonstrated that spillover signals contain primarily non-propagating signal components with differing shapes and frequencies than those of the stimulated muscle. Considering these properties, we further assessed the relative signal magnitudes to indicate whether there is significant presence of unintended muscle activation in nearby muscles (Levin, Mizrahi et al. 2000; van Vugt and van Dijk 2001). An average of non-stimulated to stimulated EMG ratio of 0.2 or less was calculated for each surrounding muscle, a value considered a negligible contribution (Levin, Mizrahi et al. 2000). Given the correlation and ratio calculations as well as the selective measures taken during the protocol, it is highly unlikely that the electrical stimulation resulted in activation of non-targeted muscles.

I'm off to work on another paragraph (8-10 more to go!).

intelligently designed

Can you guess who this is?

It's me! It's an MRI of my brain. I had it taken a couple years ago when I was a subject in an experiment for other grad students. I just did a follow up session and they gave me my MRI files to keep.

These pictures blow me away for two reasons.

First, they illustrate how incredibly complex our bodies are and how there's just no way that we humans could have developed gradually over time from lesser organisms! From the few neurophysiology classes I've taken, I've discovered how far we've come in understanding the brain and it's inner workings. But even more significantly, I've realized how much we still don't know about our brains or how matter and scientific processes work to form abstract things such as emotions, desires, motivations, and state of minds. The only explanation is that we were created by Someone infinitely more powerful and glorious than us...

The second thing that blows me away is how far our technology and knowledge has come in the recent years. It was only a couple hundred years ago that scientists began cutting people open just to figure out what made us tick. And now we've developed ways to look inside humans and see in real time what our bodies are doing. I say this not to glorify man, but to glorify God since HE is the one that has enabled our understanding to increase. HE is the one that gave us the ability to think, reason, and draw rational conclusions. HE is the one that intelligently designed us (His intelligence is infinite). But I also believe that He, in is magnificent grace, designed us intelligently (our intelligence is microscopic) so that we can continue to magnify His name as we slowly uncover His greatness.

appreciated

So this past quarter, I had the privilege (although it's mandatory for grad students) of being a teaching assistant for the undergraduate class "Introduction to Biomechanics". There were about 30 sophomores and juniors in the class, mostly very bright and eager to learn the material. My roles included holding regular office hours, grading homework, and even holding class lectures every once in a while.

Well, the course is now over and they all submitted their feedback about how I did. May I share some of the comments with you?? (I don't mean this to be braggy- it's mostly just so I can show my mom and dad cause they like to see this kind of thing, so feel free to skip it if you're not them!)

Comments: Never really saw her...Literally / / She communicated clearly and knew the material. Able to help adequately. / / Very understanding, seemed to have a good grasp of concepts. / / She was always prepared to answer questions and she was very helpful. / / / did not seem to be in class very often / / She seemed knowledgeable about the topic and willing to help, although I had no significant interaction with her. / / Betsy was really good at offering help during office hours. / non / Betsy was great, no complaints here. / Betsy was always there to help and really seemed to care about our learning. / Betsy is awesome! very helpful! / / / / / She was well prepared and helped a lot. /

And here were the evaluations

Wording of Statement			Number of responses	6 (high)	5	4	3	2	1 (low)	Average
22. The lab teacher was able to answer the students' questions adequately			24	12	7	3	1	1	0	5.17
23. The lab teacher was well prepared for each session			24	11	7	4	2	0	0	5.12
24. The lab teacher communicated ideas in a clear manner			24	12	7	3	1	1	0	5.17
25. The lab teacher showed strong interest in teaching the course			24	11	5	6	1	1	0	5.00

At the end of the quarter, an emergency situation occurred and they needed me to write the final exam for the students. (Shh, don't tell them it was me!) To give you a taste of course, here's one of my questions:

5. A 180 cm tall male gymnast with a mass of 75 kg successfully performs the Iron Cross as shown. Suppose a muscle that spans the shoulder has an insertion point on the arm at (1.5, 0) cm and originates on the chest at (-8, -20) cm in reference to the shoulder joint. Assuming this is the only active muscle and that the man’s arms are horizontal, what muscle force is necessary to maintain this position in equilibrium?

The students wrote the evaluations before the exam. I wonder if they would have been different after seeing the final?? Probably not- they actually all did really well. I was proud of them. This experience has me left me very excited to being a professor someday!

a grad student...

This is SO ME some days!!

A Researcher

I thought I'd give you guys a little glimpse into what I do everyday. I'm a graduate student, so most of my day involves "research” (i.e. reading articles, conducting experiments, running simulations, processing data, drawing conclusions, determining data is meaningless, writing about it, going back to reading articles, etc…) My office is downtown at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. I’m lucky enough to have a desk right by the window where I can sit and gaze out onto Lake Michigan pretending to be deep in thought. :-)

The view out our office window is of the lovely Water Purification Plant next to Navy Pier (Navy Pier is blocked by a building). The RIC is that tall greenish building second up from the bottom right. I'm on the 14th floor.

Our lab is called Neuromechanics of Impaired Locomotion. The big scary looking robotic device is a machine used for walking rehab. We use it here for exploring what happens to someone after they’ve had a stroke and what new rehabilitation strategies we can develop to help them walk “normally” again.

It’s sometimes a very monotonous task of coming downtown everyday just to stare at my computer and get relatively little accomplished. But when I sit back and think of the big picture, I remember how blessed I am to be at such an awesome university and hospital working on cutting edge research that will {hopefully} have a big impact on people in the long run.