So in grad school, one of the major requirements after getting the masters degree is to take the phd oral qualifier (or proposal) exam. Well, 6 months ago I attempted to take it and did not pass… What a rough couple of weeks that was trying to figure out what to do. Was this God’s way of saying I’m done with grad school? Did I go as far as I could and maybe it was time for me to move on? Well, after lots of prayer and great council from many family, friends and colleagues, I decided to give it one more try.
Fast forward two months and we discovered this! WOAH! Ok, maybe God’s whole plan was coming into view for us! Maybe I really am done with trying for the Ph.D and should just focus on my M.o.M. degree instead?!
Well, after all that I decided to go ahead and take the exam again and see what God’s up to with all this. If I didn’t pass, we could be sure that it was the end of the phd road and all would be fine.
[This is the poster that my advisor just presented at a conference Italy on the same day as my exam]
This past Wednesday was the big day. After 6 months of agonizing over it and 3 solid weeks of studying and preparation, I re-took the exam. I was calm cool and collected going in. I felt very prepared and ready to nail it. The first 15 minutes I presented my proposal. It went great. It was the best presentation I think I had done, I remembered everything I wanted to say and was able to say it at the right moment while staying within the allotted time. (And I KNOW all of that was because so many of you were praying for me! Thank you!)
Then came the questions. And right off the bat, the first one hit me so hard, I was almost knocked off my feet. It was something I hadn’t really considered and it just totally through me off for the rest of the exam. I gave some reasonable answers, but stumbled over several questions. What a humbling experience... AGAIN!
Well, yesterday I found out that I actually passed it! Maybe they were sick of hearing me come and talk every 6 months, maybe they noticed my pregnant belly and had pity, maybe I legitimately improved my thinking and defending skills, who knows! But we are sure that this is God’s way of letting me know that I’m where He wants me to be for now, and that I will keep pursuing this degree so that someday I can use it for His glory.
The next and final step is to defend the thesis (which will be well after the baby comes). I’m sure that will be another long and trying time while I prepare for that, but after seeing what God can do firsthand when I put my complete trust in Him and know that his plan is the ultimate best for me, I’m planning on fully relying on His strength to get me through that just the same. And just as I’ve said in the past, He has provided all these opportunities and abilities and grace, and He deserves all the Glory right back! So here you go, God! Welcome to my PhD candidacy! Please lead the way…
